January 17th, 2011

(no subject)

my college tutor is making me feel very uncomfortable. I told her in august i didn't want to come back to college, and she begged me to rethink. i tried to go to college and had a panic attack. I've since become far too busy at the shop to even think about college.

however, i keep getting invoices, and emails from her asking me to keep in touch if i'm planning to continue on the course. i keep telling her i'm not. I kept getting invoices, so i rang them and said i wasn't paying as i hadn't been into college this year.

so last week she phoned me and asked me to kick up a fuss with the admissions department about my fees, because she wants me to finish the course, even though i don't want to pay for it. she needs to keep bums on seats or the course won't be continued next year.

it turns out she's been marking me as 'authorised abscence' since september, telling people i'm not able to go in because IAN is ill. this means i'm still technically going to have to pay for the course as they think i've been there even though i haven't. she also told me that all this is off the record and i shouldn't tell anyone. if i do tell anyone, she'll know it's me who's told them as she told me to keep it to myself.

ian's benefits don't qualify me for free tuition, and my self-employment doesn't either. also, i'm not getting any teaching, so why should i pay just because she's lied?

don't get me wrong - i appreciate the help they gave me last year with my confidence, and i had a great year (until the end) and got a good A level result. but they got paid for that year because i was on Employment Support allowance, so I've not got any education for free. i also don't really need this access qualification - i'm self-employed, and already have a degree.

I don't feel right lying just so the course doesn't get finished.