March 18th, 2010

College big brother update

COLLEGE BIG BROTHER UPDATE

AM - now has pink hair. I still like her very much, even though we look slightly ridiculous. Is like a slightly more honest version of me.

Crystal - oh my god, she's totally doing my nut in now. Jesus, wept, I've never met anyway who whines quite so much. Honestly. Today she told Sara that no woman can have a relationship with a man without having sex with him, and then wondered why I disagreed. Says 'I've been married 11 years' and 'I have 3 kids' at least twice a day.

Kathryn - Really nice woman, get on very well with her. She's like a slow burning friend, if you know what I mean.

Kim - One of the nicest people i've ever met, literally. She's opening a tattoo shop, and I'm working there for her, and being paid in tattoos. Dream job, much?

Paul - His mum died, and we haven't actually seen much of him.

Sara - is still getting pissed every lunchtime, and coming back at least an hour late stinking of booze. Also threw herself at Val the tutor on the train. Thinks she could easily get him, even though he's married

Bez - haven't seen much of her, but she always brings me old socks when I do see her.

Maaya - absolutely without a doubt the most irritating person I have ever met. I can't even begin to tell you why. An example though

Maaya - Is Damien Hirst rich?
Gary - is the pope catholic?
M (thinks) - are all popes rich?
G - well, priests tend to be quite poor.
M - popes live in big mansions though don't they?
G - there's only one pope maaya
M - in each country?
G - no, in the whole world
*pause*
M - so is Damien Hirst pope of the whole world?

I promise you none of that is exagerrated. She really is that dumb

Gemma - takes a lot of time off. Decided to make a jacket, even though she's never used a sewing machine, let alone knows anything about clothes. Consequently got very upset when I tried to help her.

Malackey - haven't seen him since the last one

Andy - back in prison

Aaron - quite a nice bloke now Andy and Malackey have gone AWOL. Still quiet, but I can put up with him.

Dale - very very annoying, purely because he just doesn't fucking TRY

Bernadette - hilarious - she's really grown on me. Very dry sense of humour, and persuades me to do absolutely ridiculous things, sometimes for good reasons eg 'wouldn't it be excellent if you sewed a toy out of meat and stuffed it with food?' Has rainbow rooster as her profile picture on facebook. reminds me of tomatorama (in a good way)

Mark - hasn't been seen since before christmas, by anyone