December 27th, 2009

This decade

2000

Ian's family still lived with us, he asked them to move out. Janet cried a lot and made me feel guilty, but we booked the wedding for the next year.

I finally left my job as a behavioural therapist after being too un-self-confident to do it after being sacked from two of my clients within a short space of time.

Started working at the dentist after reading an advert saying they wanted someone friendly who liked drinking coffee.

2001

Carried on working on the dentist.

Got married in the August.

Mum started getting ill, but no one could pinpoint why.

2002

Mum continued to get worse and was finally diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer

Elliot got married in april

Still at the fucking dentist

Started drinking too much - used to drink a bottle of wine every night, and a bottle of port on a friday while chatting online with people I met on eBid.

2003

decided to leave the dentist and try and get on a PGCE course. Wasn't accepted as not enough experience in schools. Started mystery shopping and making t-shirts to sell online.

Reviewing lots of stuff on Ciao and writing articles.

madeleine born in november

mum died in december

2004

decided to start losing weight in april after weighing in at 25 stone. did weight watchers online. started going to the gym in the summer.

got flowers from the dentist saying how sorry they were to hear about mum, and asking me to go back - so i went back

eventually lost 8 stone by the december. dad got engaged to his girlfriend at christmas, and weightloss went to the back of my mind.

2005

Quite a bad year. started drinking too much, and making myself sick again. However, because I was still going to the gym and losing weight, and seemed to be doing ok at work, no one really knew.

2006

decided to try and adopt a child.

Pimp That Snack started, and I was an early adopter.

Started really writing in this journal properly

2007

got sinusitis and stopped going to the gym, never to return

ian's brother moved in for 2 nights and ended up staying 8 months

turned down for adoption - ian and i decided to wait to have kids

carer situation reached breaking point and we had no one to look after ian for ages

2008

tried to start eating properly, tried to throw myself into my job as kids not happening - still drinking too much, and realised this job is not actually what i want to do

nervous breakdown in october - decided to kill myself and got signed off work

prozac shit, mental health team bollocks

started painting in november

2009

got on the right meds

started selling greeting cards and doing craft fairs

started college course in september

lovely people online sent me to Amsterdam for my birthday