August 21st, 2009

CBT - experiment

This week we are experimenting with the unnecessary precaution side of my OCD. Last weekend, I managed my own experiment without even trying. I traded off the party being not 100% perfect, by serving 'unexciting' (my words) food so that my mental health didn't suffer. This was a balance that worked as I didn't snap at anyone or get exhausted.

This week, we talked about what precautions I might take. On wednesday I'm off to Katie's for a Pesky Party, and I was planning until wednesday to shuffle my cards around, make some more to ensure there's something for everyone, and generally probably wear myself out. Bearing in mind I still have tons of cards left, this is unnecessary. We worked out that the worst that can happen is that there is someone there who doesn't like the style of cards, but I can always take an order and make one for them.

To test this, I am not allowed to make any cards this week. At all. Bearing in mind I make at least 10 a day, this isn't going to actually be harder than it sounds. I'm already anxious. I am allowed to paint and draw though, so I'll probably be doing that. I have a couple of things I should be doing, like my book, Katie's book, and a painting of some dogs, so it's actually a fortuitous time for Kathryn to torture me.

She can be sneaky though. She managed to get me to say 'I'm inspirational', even though I was saying it in the most sarcastic tone possible, and rolling my eyes.