June 1st, 2009


I have the most ridiculous cold. It's not even a cold, it's probably my sinuses again. I don't really know what it is, but it's happened before. These are my symptoms

1. Being absolutely fine almost all of the day
2. About four times a day doing the following
a. suddenly and violently getting a tickle in my throat
b. hacking my guts up so hard it sends my back into spasms
c. then clutching my head and making a noise because it hurts so much from the coughing
d. sometimes being sick if it's a bad one and I've just eaten
3. Then at night, sleeping in 30 minute shifts because I keep coughing myself awake, even after taking night nurse, and finally falling asleep sitting up in the living room because it's the only way I don't cough

Normally in the past, people have been sympathetic when I've had a coughing fit in a shop. However this week, after those bloody adverts and the threat of swine flu, I've had nasty looks, even though it's clear that the coughing fit has taken me by surprise, and I literally can't do anything about it. Today the lady on the till in The Works asked me if I wanted to buy some antibacterial handwash after I'd been hacking (after moving into a shop corner and covering my mouth with a huge tissue, and then apologising at the till). I bought some, even though I felt slightly affronted. I feel like making a t-shirt which says 'Not all coughs indicate swine flu you know, some people just have bad sinus systems' but I'm not sure it won't just make me look like a twat.