August 9th, 2007

regrets

i've been thinking a lot today about the past and have decided there's only 2 things i regret. i also thought about locking this but i'd kind of like N to read it.

1. i wish i'd done more for N while she was still talking to me. i still feel guilty as one thing she said had contributed to her not speaking to me any more was that sometimes i'd say i'd phone and i didn't. usually this was because i wasn't in a great mood, and i would usually text and say i wasnt ringing, but i still regret every single time. so N if you're reading this, i really miss you and would always be here if you ever decided you wanted to talk to me again.

2. i wish i hadn't left things the way i did with Toby. i don't know why i thought about this after 16 years but there you go. i really cared about him, and although he broke my heart, i think he did care about me as well, and i often wonder what would have happened if we'd stayed friends. i would dearly love to know where he is now, so on the off chance you're reading this and you know Toby Shipp, then could you tell him i'm asking after him.
*edit* how is it possible for someone to drop off the face of the earth? doesn't everyone have a facebook/my space/friends reunited these days? nothing on google? jesus, no life or what..... and i'm not entirely serious here of course.